(worry)

I am nervous because I know tomorrow will be the start of a rough cycle.
There is nothing I can do.

A family friend wrote recently to check in and send love, and also share an amusing story she had about a friend who, while enduring chemotherapy, had all of her nose hair fall out and was left with an annoying case of constant runny nose. Last night when Brendan walked in to the theater with a pocket full of kleenex that is what I expected, and my eyes shot up to his eyebrows to make sure they were still there.
They were. He is just fighting a cold.

Fighting a cold (worry) right before the biggest immune suppressing round of treatment (worry).

There are moments when I have to look twice before I recognize Brendan. I quickly adjust, but the first time he enters my field of vision, it takes a millisecond longer to recognize that the tall, thin, bald guy is my brother.
Tonight I was looking over old Tumblr posts, and saw the original one I posted for the start of this blog. I held my fingers up between the screen and my face, closing one eye, covering Brendan's hair to see if my version of bald Brendan actually looked like bald Brendan.
The jury is still out on that one.