Thank heavens

Tonight, Brendan (freshly sans eyebrows) and I settled down in front of the giant tree in Dad's living room to watch a movie I don't expect any one else in the world to know about - let alone love as much as we do, or laugh quite as hard as we do at the video clip above.
We hadn't watched it together in years, and as it progressed we were constantly reminded of the hilarious moments we love and all the times we would continuously rewind to hear our favorite jokes over and over again.
It was during 'My Father The Hero' that Brendan's phone rang, Dr. Rose on the other line.


The PET scan results are in.

Clear. They're clear.

Brendan's chest is clear.

Clear.


Of course he will still go through radiation. And just because his chest didn't light up doesn't mean there aren't small amounts of cancer hiding out and sneaking around. But just as the real snow starts to pile up in this frigid Chicago December, that mound of metaphorical snow that Dr. Rose had told us about that horrible day in July has been diminished.
Sometimes the heat of July seems so distant. I remember driving to see Brendan that night, and none of us talking directly about anything for the first 20 minutes we were all together. I remember the air in the room when we finally did. I remember my legs sticking together underneath the skirt I wore that first trip to Dr. Rose's office. I remember how bright the sun was that day. The headache I had. The night I spent in my small apartment scared and crying harder than I've ever cried, deafening the ears and soaking the shoulders of someone I had loved. I remember it happening very fast.
So here we stand. Stronger people. A stronger family.
The strongest brother.

Brendan is hoping to get in to see Dr. Rose right away tomorrow for some blood work and to plan radiation. Getting it done this year means getting it done before the new insurance cycle rolls around and we have to start from scratch - working through the deductible before things are covered. The more he can get done and the sooner he can get it done the better.
Cancer treatment is expensive

Brendan is visibly stronger. Visibly happier. Visibly balder.
I've never appreciated or admired him more.

[exhale]
clear.